Deviant Login Shop  Join deviantART for FREE Take the Tour
×
  • Art Print
  • Canvas
  • Photo
  • Art Gifts
Download JPG 4187 × 5850



Details

Submitted on
May 25, 2013
Image Size
13.7 MB
Resolution
4187×5850
Link
Thumb
Embed

Stats

Views
3,213 (1 today)
Favourites
399 (who?)
Comments
16
Downloads
28
×
Dream Diary 2nd Night by miimork Dream Diary 2nd Night by miimork
I had a dream...
of a town somewhere on this planet,
where every roof was black and all walls were white.
'The monochrome town,' I named it
as I walked along a riverside.

But then you appeared out of the blue,
and suddenly, surrounding scenery seemed to change.
carnation pink, golden yellow and crimson hue:
overflowing, millions of colors were so fascinating and strange.

And there you were from nowhere,
standing beside me, right there.

--------------------------------


P.S. Please feel free to correct my English errors Thank you very much!
Add a Comment:
 
:iconrallya:
Rallya May 30, 2013  Student General Artist
Oh wow. This is amazing. :D
Reply
:iconjoedartjr:
You're a magician of the craft. The story compliments the feeling of the art perfectly; masterfully done.
Reply
:iconjenniej92:
Jenniej92 May 26, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
this is so pretty <3
i love your work!
Reply
:iconescente:
Escente May 25, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
If you don't mind, there are a couple of slight errors: "surrounded" should be "surrounding", and "fascinated" should be "fascinating"...
But otherwise it's a beautiful poem and a beautiful picture! I'm enjoying your Dream Diary series very much. :D
Reply
:iconmiimork:
miimork May 25, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Thank you very much!!
Reply
:iconyumikitsune:
YumiKitsune May 25, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Are you sure you want English corrections? Because I don't wanna sound rude when I think what you've written is very lovely, if rough. =)
Reply
:iconmiimork:
miimork May 25, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
Yes I'm sure XD All of the corrections are very helpful to me because I will be able to notice where I wrote it wrong so that I can improve it in my next writing.
Reply
:iconyumikitsune:
YumiKitsune May 25, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
Well I noticed with this line
"where every roof was black and every wall were white."
You could either say "every wall was white" or something like "all walls were white"

With this line
"'The monochrome town,' I named it on my first met"
I understand the idea I think and I'm not sure how to reword it to rhyme with planet but..grammatically it doesn't really make sense. I suppose you could just make it
"'The monochrome town,' I named it" Depending on where you're from "planet" and "it" very nearly rhyme.

With this line
"overflowing millions colors were so fascinating and strange."
I would probably change it to "overflowing, millions of colors were so fascinating and strange."

And with this line
"standing beside me right there."
I would either put a comma between me and right or perhaps just remove the word right

I hope this was helpful and not too annoying :iconnervouslaughplz: If you have any questions or anything feel free to ask me.
Reply
:iconmiimork:
miimork May 26, 2013  Student Traditional Artist
OMG! Thank you very much for your corrections!!I'm really appreciate your comment :cries: These are soooo helpful to me and not annoying at all (I want to get better in using english so all of the corrections are very welcome<3). I'll try my best not making the same mistake again :la: (if I can manage to do that :faint:).

Thank you very much!! *big hug*
Reply
:iconyumikitsune:
YumiKitsune May 26, 2013  Hobbyist Photographer
You're very welcome :hug: I'm glad I could be of help. :D
Reply
Add a Comment: